Men Masturbate to Make Up the Difference—But Women Don't
“Two main theories have been promoted about the relationship between masturbation and partnered sex. The complementary theory proposes that people masturbate within a relationship in order to enhance their partnered sex. So, masturbation might increase and improve the partnered sex. In contrast, the compensatory model suggests that people in relationships masturbate as a means to substitute for sexual desires (whether in quantity, quality or type) that go unmet within the relationship.”
What was unique about the Regnerus, Price & Gordon (2017) study that he writes about is that they added the variable of how content participants were with their sexual frequency, rather than simply how often they had sex. If you’re having sex twice a week and are happy about it, you may have less of a desire for masturbation than if you would like to have sex four times a week. Seems like a pretty important variable to add, right? The studies that didn’t consider satisfaction with sexual frequency seem to implicitly assume that everyone wants about the same amount of sex which is clearly not the case.
Hopefully not surprisingly, the study found that it does indeed matter how satisfied you are with your sexual frequency, not just how often you’re having sex. However, it was really interesting that they found a big gender difference: Men tended to masturbate in a compensatory way, using it to make up for the desired sex that they aren’t getting. Meanwhile, women tended to masturbate in more of a complementary way—the more sex they had, the more they masturbated; one primed the pump for the other. Obviously, these are group averages, so there are individual differences, but the trends were there.
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